Walking along the path to enlightenment with cats

I can't believe how sleepy I am tonight. Usually I am up late bugging my boyrfiend while he tries to read, but we had company tonight so we're up later than usual. Tyler washing the dishes, me putzing around on the internnot.

So, we bugged the cat alot tonight, poor kitty, but it's almost good for her, helps her avoid boredom in our little apartment.

The things I am wondering right now, though, are: What am I going to do with my life? Why are things always so uncertain? Am I becoming too cocky and overconfident? Why can't I seem to be able to put in a full day's of work in the greenhouse? Why can't I just be happy with the things that make others so happy and comfortable in their lives? Why do I have damned parasites and gluten sensitivities when I'm a freeking vegetarian who tries really hard to take care of herself?

I suppose it's because life is a journey, and I am supposed to be learning valuable lessons along the way. I think it all boils down to being comfortable with who I am no matter what, despite scary dreams where my mother in law shoots down everything I say, making me feel stupid. I also think the cumulation of my university education has led me to think that I am unqualified to express myself because I haven't been able to express to the ultimum, the scientific relevance of why I think some things are better left untouched.

Whoops! abit of a rant... it's the wine, I swear!